Devotionalist’s blog

Apparently, I have been tagged.

nobody@vox.com(Surrealkiller) — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 08:48:50 -0600

I am supposed to list five things about me, so here goes:

1. I sometimes am an extremist. I either want everything or nothing at all in some circumstances. I want the best of everything for myself and loved ones. I am a believer in quality over quantity.

2. I am severely devoted. Once l love someone, I never stop. I will go to the ends of the earth for them, and back...if requested. Even if I have been hurt, I remain as devoted as ever if I am truly in love with them.

3. I am extremely sentimental. I keep everything, memories are of the most important things to me. I like to remember years ago when things were just starting, when our memories were first beginning and I love talking to my friends about it and feeling like I am there again. I love keepsakes from people, if you give me something...chances are I will have it (and sometiems carry it around) for a long time. I have photo albums (regular and electronic) that will knock your socks off. I also have manual journals, quote books and love letters stored in my closet. Chances are if you don't remember it, I most def. will, complete with documentation of whatever it is.

4. Love IS the number one most important thing in the entire world to me.

5. I want to have a semi-large family, in this day and age, a large family is a couple with four children. Originally I wanted four children, now I want three. I want more than two because I was upset as a child with only one brother, and I still resent my mother for not having more. I always wanted to live a life with many brothers and sisters. To this day, I am still very sad that I never got the home with a warm and loving large family. I know that I would be extremely sad if I died without ever having a family of my own.

There you have it. This is me.

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Goodbye bee....

nobody@vox.com(Surrealkiller) — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 08:34:05 -0600

So my brother has been ordered to leave for Germany this Tuesday for three years. He is in the army and will be living on the base in Germany, the city escapes me at the moment, but I will edit this when I find out.

I had no idea this would be so hard for me to deal with. My main fear is that I will not see him again. I keep thinking of these images of when we were kids, holding him as a baby and playing with him when we got older. When times got hard and my parents would fight at night, he would always come and crawl into my bed with me. I kept him safe, and now I can’t keep him safe if he resides in another country.

When he was a baby, I always called him “Little bee-bee”, the name stuck and I called him “bee-bee” for a long time. As he got older, I started to shorten the knick-name to just “bee”. I still call him bee to this day, he doesn’t really mind though.

I love my bee. I will miss him being within driving range…I think I’m insecure because I won’t have that assurance anymore. I need to know that the people in my family are doing ok and that if something happens to them I can be there in an instance.

Well, I know I can’t stop him from going. I have to focus on what I do have control over, which is my ability to keep in touch with him. Talking over the internet is going to be the cheapest and easiest way to keep in contact so I will have to use that to the best of my ability. And being on the computer for a lot of the day, every day….I think I will manage just fine. I would like to call him though, but I’m not sure how much my phone plan charges for international calling..gotta check on that.

In closing, I think that this will be a test of family ties and love and patience. I think I actually have a stronger bond with my brother than I thought. I hope that one day we will be close again like when we were kids. It sucks that I realize the hidden bond when he is set to leave for three years, but maybe there’s a reason for that. Time will tell..I will miss you bee, I’m still here for you if you are scared. Please, please stay safe for me.

Bee and me 1988

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Oh baby...

nobody@vox.com(Surrealkiller) — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 13:02:39 -0600

I just recently looked at my Yafro account, which I have not logged into in quite some time. While I was in there, I noticed that my friend Carrie posted many pictures of her new baby. She named her child Kylie Ann Zirtzlaff. I am going to take this opportunity to share some of the beautiful pictures I saved from her page...

Carrie 8 months pregnant

To the left is Carrie at about eight months, I think she looks stunning in all her motherly glory, last time I laid eyes on her...she was a very skinny woman with a flat tummy! boy how things have changed.

My sweet Carrie as a new mom

To the right is Carrie holding her new daughter, she looks tired but vibrant at the same time. Radiating a glow that only comes from a mother holding her child for the first time.

Below to the left Mark cuts the cord! The first of many, many loving fatherly duties :).

Mark cuts the cord

I am so proud of them, sticking through everything together and keeping their tie tight and strong. Each time I see Carrie and Mark together, they are always smiling, hugging and laughing. They seem to have a great start to their new family.

For my last picture, I introduce the new Zirzlaff baby, looking at a camera probably for the first time, the scary thing is, the look in her eyes almost tells me she's onto us :). Well, it seems that this story has a long and happy way to go...congratulations to Carrie and Mark on their new baby girl. Remember folks, patience, time, protection, honesty and love. They need it with every molecule in thier body, I hope and wish that every child is fortunate enough to get it from somewhere. In my experience....it is best coming first from mom and dad. Stay true to them.

Baby Zirtzlaff looking at the camera

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Working in the morning...

nobody@vox.com(Surrealkiller) — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 09:47:36 -0600

As I sit here....I think, I think about....well, writing in this blog at the moment. Not so quick to find a delectable rhetoric at the present time however...so I must speak lightly....and think lightly I guess.

Early morning does not warrent them there gears in my head to grind in a perfectly systematic way.

Got up at seven fifteen on the button. Contemplated my daily routine with certain disgruntlement..."Could I call in again?" I thought.....no, surely not. For that particular indulgence has already graced the early part of my week...and to do it again would cause certain dismay among co-workers. I'm more professional that that.

I hear a scratching at my bedroom door, my cats....waiting for tidbits, as they do every morning. Their persistence baffles me.

I do eventually roll out of my bed and walk, through my hazy morning sight to the kitchen to feed them, my hair needing obvious attention...which I tend to later. I go to my computer and dress for work. Late I was. Late again...though no one noticed, as is always the case...lucky me.

Here I sit at my computer...just tackling this day...or, maybe not "tackling" perse.

Just floating...floating along.

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